2007年8月8日水曜日

bother me.

today,i talked with a guy on msn.
i dont do it often cuz its waste of time and everytime i face to computer,thats the time i have something to search.
but i had time.so i talked.

he asked me whether i drink or not so i told him that i used to be an alcoholic and trying to be clean.
i think he took me as a slut or some kinda.
he said "you kick ass,lady you rule!!"
it DID NOT make me happy.
i was not trying to be addicted by myself,my will.
i just need sake to get over my dearest friends suicide bcuz im weak.
yes,im weak.i couldnt save her.i couldnt even reach out and say "its okay" to her.
the fear that the killer might be me.
scares me.kills real me.i started to drink a lot and try not to think of it.

does it make me look like a whore?hell no.

2007年8月3日金曜日

Control Freak

You lose control when you hold too tight,
And turn your head long enough to let it bite.
Cause faith left me staring at the ceiling through the night.
It's freaking me out.

And when I fell asleep, it plagued my dreams,
And 30 bits of glass had become my teeth.
They were breaking each and every time I tried to speak.
It's freaking me out.

You're freaking me out,
You're freaking me out.
And I keep running like a coward for the door,
But I'll never get out.
You're freaking me out.

You lose your mind if you lose control.
It makes you feel ashamed for the hearts you stole.
And now, your own heart's scared of an attack,
Cause you can't give them back.
You're stressing me out when you prove me wrong,
You're wearing me out cause I've slept so long.

You're freaking me out,
You're freaking me out.
And I keep running like a coward for the door,
But I'll never get out.
You're freaking me out.

Throw it all away,
I threw it all
And I threw it all away,
And the best part is not knowing just what I threw away.
I threw it all away.

You're freaking me out,
You're freaking me out.
And I keep running like a coward for the door,
But I'll never get out.
You're freaking me out.

You're freaking me out,
You're freaking me out.
But I keep running right back around for more,
Cause I'm in love with my doubt.
It's freaking me out.

youre freaking me out,mom.
i told you.you cant say im insane bcuz were all insane.