today,i talked with a guy on msn.
i dont do it often cuz its waste of time and everytime i face to computer,thats the time i have something to search.
but i had time.so i talked.
he asked me whether i drink or not so i told him that i used to be an alcoholic and trying to be clean.
i think he took me as a slut or some kinda.
he said "you kick ass,lady you rule!!"
it DID NOT make me happy.
i was not trying to be addicted by myself,my will.
i just need sake to get over my dearest friends suicide bcuz im weak.
yes,im weak.i couldnt save her.i couldnt even reach out and say "its okay" to her.
the fear that the killer might be me.
scares me.kills real me.i started to drink a lot and try not to think of it.
does it make me look like a whore?hell no.
